Mom, the Move, and Me

Created date

February 18th, 2009
Man moving boxes

So yesterday we moved Mom to the assisted living facility. I did not expect the strong emotional and physical draining I felt by the end of the day. It was very, very difficult. My mom was very sad about leaving her apartment. I told her she did not have to move to the assisted living. I was very scared to say this but felt I had to allow her to be in control, no matter the consequences. She said, no, it was her decision and she knew it was time to make the move. We talked about all the wonderful opportunities, the friends, her boyfriend, the chance to be more socially involved. I let her choose the clothes to take though she only chose a few (I won't need them; I will die there). Obviously I packed way more then she chose. I found so many clothes with stains from food and other bodily functions and realized she needed this far more then any of us would admit. I have piles of clothes to wash and take there. But not everything has to be done the first day. I also forgot a hamper for her dirty laundry which I will try and get there today after work. My brother helped alot. He really had stepped up to the plate recently. It was time. We moved her TV, radio, some furniture, and he got her a small bistro table and chairs which looks really nice in her room. The room is a studio apartment. It is very much smaller then her spacious apartment but it is decorated nicely. We took lots of pictures and I must say the room looks nice and cozy. The closet is HUGE. ' A full, large bathroom with shower and shower chair, sinck, toilet, cabinet and call light present a clean easy to use, safe bathroom for her. Her kitchenette has a small refrigerator, microwave, cabinets and sink. We took food, and dishes, silverware and glasses so she can have snacks and even breakfast in her room as well as entertain guests if she wants. We all went to dinner together in the dining room. The facility offers free dinners to families on the first day of the move. The menu offered nice selections and I have to tell you, the food was fabulous. The staff was incredibly helpful and friendly, reassuring us as much as my mom. She also saw several people she knew and that was great. She has her own phone and cable hook up. I called this morning and she was better than I thought. She had a rough night but said it was because everything was strange. She told me not to worry; that was her gift to me. My mother has not always been easy. Our relationship has had its challenges over the years. But she is my mother and I want the best for her. We kept her caregiver through today just to make sure she does well and the transition is smooth. I thought I understood the need and emotional changes this process causes. After all, I work in a community that has assisted living. But actually going through this has taught me so much more and I believe I have gained new insights into this. I am not being unrealistic. I believe the emotionalism of this move will remain with all of us for some time. I have the hope that this will be the best thing for her, and for all of us.