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Dr. Ruth On . . . Travel with friends and family

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April 27th, 2009

I love to travel, and traveling with my family can be especially fun. But I always make sure to get my own room. When my son and daughter and their families are all together, with all the kids shouting with glee, it s delightful. But if I ve had enough, I know I can go back to my own hotel room. And if you re traveling with friends, don t be afraid to insist on your own room. Basically what I m saying is that rather than avoid traveling with friends and family, just make sure to carefully check out the details of the trip so that you re not going to feel overwhelmed because you re always with your traveling companions. If you let that happen, then you ll end up making excuses not to go at all and miss out on a lot of fun. Better to assert yourself ahead of time, during the planning stages, so that you have room to maneuver during your travels. And I don t mean to imply that you should assert yourself only about the accommodations. Speak up about every bit of the planning so that you don t find yourself bored because the group is spending three days at a golf resort and you don t play golf. By the way, if you re the type of person who often fails to assert yourself, my advice to you is to use white lies. Let s say you need to have some time by yourself. You re with a group and you spent the morning together at the local museum. The afternoon plan is to visit a winery. Well, right after lunch, you announce that you have an upset stomach and you re going to rest. Once everyone leaves, you stage a miraculous recovery and go for a walk to explore the antique dealers, assuming that s your interest. If you had told everyone that you needed to get away from them for a while, there would have been hurt feelings. But if every so often your stomach acts up, or you need a nap, or you have a headache, then you ll get the time off you need without ruffling any feathers.

Dr. Ruth Westheimer is an author, lecturer, and the relationship expert on RLTV s Daily Caf .

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