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Love letters

Seabrook resident writes book on finding love later in life

Created date

January 25th, 2010
NJ_0210_loveletters2
NJ_0210_loveletters2
Seabrookresident Regina Thomas believes that one of the keys to successful aging is to give and receive love. Widowed later in life, this former dental hygienist, trade publication writer, and TV talk show host has spent the past year putting her theories about love and older adults down on paper in Love and Companionship: When You re Single and in Your Late 60s+. Simply put, the need for being loved and loving others doesn t diminish with age, Thomas says. That s what life is all about.

Finding love at Seabrook

Thomas was inspired to write a book after she rediscovered love atSeabrook. I came to Seabrook as a widow, and through a random seating at dinner, I met a gentleman who I had a lot in common with, she says. We eventually became a couple. That gentleman was Arthur Larsen. If you ve met Regina, you know she is very good at meeting people, says Larsen, an electrical engineer. I m not really like that. I mostly work alone. But we met at dinner and had a fabulous conversation that we took out to a bench, which led to dating, and the relationship just grew from there. Larsen, who was twice divorced, says that at the time, his own search for love had stalled. I guess I was looking for a companion unsuccessfully, he says. But when I met Regina, it just clicked. And that relationship filled a deeper void than I even knew was there.

Philosophy of love

Many people, particularly widows, feel a need they don t realize they have, explains Thomas. When I met this man, it reminded me that I wanted to be loved and love again. What makes their relationship tick? Thomas thinks it s a shared philosophy. Mine s in sync with Art s we both believe it s more important to love than to be loved, she says. Too often, people forget to give enough credence to loving others. They re too focused on being loved.

Adapting to new conventions

There are many out there with no desire to be married, Thomas postulates. The goal isn t finding another marriage, but being a whole, loving couple. Each person leads an independent life. Their social lives come together often and their families even connect in many instances. It s what our parents used to call keeping company. So how common is this phenomenon? It happens, Thomas says. No one goes around tooting their horns about it. But when you see how content they are, as we are they feel less lonely, less dependent on memories, and more connected with the real world. Their isolation disappears. When you have someone to share your life with, it makes living so much more enjoyable, adds Larsen. Everything has more meaning if you share it. Thomas says she hopes to share her book, which includes a variety of real life stories of older adults, published sometime later this year. The book s current working title is Love and Companionship: When You re Single and in Your Late 60s+. She can be reached at 2rdreyer@gmail.com for more information.

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